Black Water

I wonder would it would be like to drown in the waters of my mind? My head is so full of dark thoughts and emotions; it’s feels like I’m in the middle of a black ocean. The water is think and cold.




Dead.



Nothing can survive beneath the surface for very long. Even the fish die, leaving the water with a thick smell of decay under a hot sun, despite there being no warmth.



I’m so cold.



How will I drown?



What are the ways the black water could drown me? How many ways could it be? It shouldn’t be that hard, all I would have to do is jump in.



Should I take a bunch of pills and fall asleep and not wake up? Should I twist a rope around my neck and hang from the beam in my basement? Should I shoot myself in the head and splatter my brains all over the wall? Should I cut my wrists down the middle and watch them bleed? Should I jump of a bridge into oncoming traffic and spread my body across the road? Should I run of the plate form and jump into a speeding train?



First I will feel cold and then I will feel nothing.



Nothing at all.