Ha, Well a Little More Than Two Weeks

So while hanging out with a friend and listening to her read some posts to me from her blog, it got me itching to find mine again.  And so I did, and I read my old posts. I re-lived the feelings I had when I wrote them, and remembered what I was doing at the time. It was an interesting trip down memory lane; like finding an old diary long forgotten. Only, this one was filled with less spelling mistakes. (Thank you spell check and your red squiggly lines)

I came across one post; the last I wrote before my year-long hiatus and I couldn't help but laugh. I was laughing and shaking my head at this particular post, not because of how pathetic I sounded, but because the boy in question was such a complete fool. He still is, and with nearly every fiber of my being I wish I had the chance to lay it all out for him.

I want to tell him how completely unless he is, and how up set I am; not because he broke my heart, but because I was fool enough to allow him to. I never truly believed that I got all my answers that I wanted or needed from the termination of our relationship, but at this point I really don't care. It still irks me, but I will live, because I'm sure of one thing; he will never have a lasting relationship if he doesn't change and he will probably end up alone, still playing with his toys.

There is one thing I would like to add, I wasn't broken up with because of a cold sore.

Our relationship ended when he put an expiration date on it because he didn't want to travel a half hour by bus to see me. So I ended it. Maybe I WAS hypocritical because I asked him not to break up with me over some on-line messenger and ended up doing just that, but the way our conversation had been going that day; the subject was unavoidable. It started with him saying the sentence "Long distance DOESN'T work, so let's just have fun with it until the end of summer." 


No. 


I was not going to waste anymore of my time and money on someone who didn't care about me.


So I ended it; with the help from a dear friend who could type a lot faster and in more coherent sentences than I could at the time. But I didn't get to say all I wanted. 


If I could say any one thing to him it wouldn't be how I faked it every time because he was boring me. Or how I thought the only reason why he could only get off was because he was so full of himself. OR the fact that he had a weird short stubby penis.  


I would tell him that even though he broke my heart and he is probably one of the few people I truly HATE in my life; I don't regret ever being with him because now I know what I true man isn't. I know what I DO NOT WANT in a relationship, and I know what I do not NEED in a relationship. 

I'm pretty sure some part of me wants him to stumble upon this one day, so maybe that's we I'm blogging about it, but either way; it makes me feel better.